#thechrises Archives

S02E36: Doing Good with The Dino DoGooders

The Chrises unearth the nicest/oldest guests possible, The Dino DoGooders. Val Pinnock and Heather Price dinosaur-arm dance into the show to talk about how the prehistoric creatures are making a comeback for the ages. What started as yoga in an inflatable dinosaur costume has now become an international phenomenon; spreading love and joy to nursing homes through outdoor only, socially distanced fun. The Dino DoGooders have been featured on Live with Kelly and Ryan, Some Good News, multiple news outlets, and offshoot Facebook groups as far as Australia and New Zealand. The Chrises ponder the big questions with Val and Heather, like what cars do Dinos drive and whether Dinos have innies or outies [hint: Prius + onnies]. New words are generated for next year’s Merriam-Webster edition and futuristic ideas are created. Can we almost certainly expect Dino snow angels, Dinos directing traffic, and maybe even a Dino DoGooders line of costumes?

S02E33: The Puppy Diaries with Mabel & The Chrises

September 23, 2020 Chris 27:01

The Chrises open with some fresh hairdos, sweet Pupformance attire, and a shipment of coronavirus religious tracts compliments of The Dr. Of Love. Mabel the Pup, Aunt Jody’s Golden Girl, joins the program as the first pooch of honor and The Chrises share her origin story. A debate over the best pet ensues, as Christopher Gardinier agrees with Mabel that dogs are truly a human’s best friend. Christopher Joseph and Ryan reveal their scheme to adopt “Will” the ferret—the closest mammal to a squirrel and cat. Chris and Chris both agree that birds rank lowest on the pet totem pole and should never be caged. Before The Chrises head out, they give a 5-star review of Surkerco professional level hair clippers—a night and day difference from cutting hair with a Wahl beard trimmer.

S02E32: Ryan’s Story Time with a First Time Hitchhiker

September 22, 2020 Chris 31:58

The Chrises enter looking colorful in their Tie Dye For Tumors shirts and masks for National Voter Registration Day. Feeling inclusive on the first day of fall, The Chrises finally give Intern Ryan the chance to spill the beans about his recent road trip. After being left somewhere near Idaho Falls, Idaho, Ryan picks up a girlfriend(!) and befriends a mysterious Hawaiian man named Uncle Pineapple. Things take a turn as Uncle Pineapple directs Ryan to a secret hot spring stream portal where Ryan almost gets sucked into another dimension. Narrowly escaping, Ryan and his gal pal hitchhike their way through Idaho with potatoes as currency. In Utah, Ryan decides to spice up his taters and stops at the city of salt, Salt Lake City, and home of provolone cheese, Provo. Feeling energized from his culinary experiences, Ryan spends an exquisite night in the glitz and glamour of Las Vegas before making his way back home—forever a King of Idaho.

S02E31: Ryan’s Return with The Chrises Special Unboxing Event

September 21, 2020 Chris 39:21

The Chrises return from Ryan’s Road Trip with a ton of mail and a live unboxing extravaganza. Lucky for Intern Ryan, Molly Suds sent a massive box of laundry and fabric products for all his funky smelling clothes from his hitchhike expedition back from Idaho. The Chrises are impressed with the biodegradable, plant packing peanuts and decide to chomp down on some while concocting an ingenious plan to start a cotton candy packaging material company. Chris & Chris also receive a pair of matching tie-dye shirts and masks from a clothing brand with big hearts, Tie Dye For Tumors— benefiting families fighting brain cancer in honor of their sister, Alley Hoza-Rodela. The longest journey award goes to Rising Springs Source, with hand delivered, straight-from-the-source water that only took a 16,000 year, granite protected pilgrimage to The Chrises door.

S01E04: Ryan’s First Fancy Friday feat. Matthew Baker

September 18, 2020 Chris 34:21

Intern Ryan becomes a member of the Quarantining With The Chrises team on the first ever Fancy Friday. The Chrises dance into everyone’s hearts to R.E.M.’s “It’s The End Of The World” and feel fine enough to clear the air, as first time caller and long time listener, Matthew Baker (Baker) The Touchdown Maker, joins the fun. Bubly, the Odoul’s of White Claw, is plugged by Baker as his non-alcoholic seltzer of choice as he stays inside and showers multiple times a day to fill his quarantine time. The Fray’s discography is dissected by the guys, and Fun Employment Baker saves a friend’s life with a 100-yard, non-contact socially distanced Tylenol toss. Covid Cooking is launched with the herb master himself as he shares how his kitchen is akin to a Food Network program. Baker departs with some final coronavirus hot takes: Don’t catch Covid, don’t let your roommates leave the house, and ignore all dogs (note: the ability for dogs to get Covid has since been debunked).

S01E14: Family Day feat. Jeffrey Janssen & Michael Gardinier III

September 17, 2020 Chris 1:01:45

The Chrises rewind on Throwback Thursday for “Be Kind, Rewind Retro Week” with a family flashback featuring not one, but two guests: Jeffrey Janssen and Michael Gardinier III. Big Jefferson opens up the episode with hot takes from the early Covid quarantine grocery craze. The connoisseur of tushy tissues and tree costumes gives the rundown on his daily sanitary routine and which sock he puts on first [hint: it’s like a Twix]. Michael, a superior trained athlete, comes in heavy with his 10-pound dumbbells and .625 tee-ball batting average to give important fitness tips— quit if you’re better than the teacher. The Doctor of Love, who has been married once and engaged four times, gives expert romance advice and talks about his ideal woman: someone who is sexy and smart alá Toy Story’s Bo Peep.

S02E30: Wow, You Can Really Podcast with PodBooking Founder and CEO Daniela Garcia

August 28, 2020 Chris 1:00:29

The Chrises go sliving through Fancy Friday with The Godmother of Podcasting, Daniela Garcia. The Founder and CEO of PodBooking—the hottest podcasting social platform—talks about her revolutionary network to connect podcasters, engineers, networks, and brands. Excited for the official November 1st launch of Pod-Booking.com, The Chrises throw their hats in the waitlist pond to become…

S02E29: Heating Up with Global Head of Sustainability Scott Atkinson

August 27, 2020 Chris 54:23

The Chrises get the notebooks out and scribble down ecological restoration suggestions from Captain Planet himself, Scott Atkinson. The John Hopkins Environmental Sci & Policy master’s student teaches listeners about forest fire suppression, the relation to the current Northern California wildfires, and the importance of cleaning up fuel sources. After recently pulling up his britches and operating a chainsaw to help clear a friend’s fire threatened property, Scott is potentially qualified to be a full-time farmer. Looking to capitalize on the animal cam trend, Scott set up a video recorder inside his owl box perch despite one minor issue— a nighthawk has yet to pay the Atkinson family a visit. His daughter and future Forest Ranger, June, swoops in and steals the show with a brief appearance that sparks a new merchandising idea to sell QWTChrises branded slippers (link in bio coming soon). Scott, a 37-year-old father with a 9 to 5, forgoes a pro surfing sponsorship to train for WSL Mavericks, and he can officially hold his breath longer than the Chrises as a recent recipient of a free diving certificate. Part-Time Beekeeper and activist for all, Scott sends The Chrises home with some lavender honey, books on trees, and a donation to The Chrises’ No Hair For Care GoFundMe campaign to help support children’s cancer camp, Okizu [https://www.gofundme.com/f/no-hair-for-care].

S02E28: Advocating For Radical Enviro Change While Living Package Free with Joy Morgan

August 26, 2020 Chris 51:13

Joy Morgan makes a QWTChrises pitstop on her interdimensional road trip journey between Brooklyn and Portland to advocate for radical environmental change. On a personal quest to turn New Jersey’s Pinelands National Reserve into a National Monument, Joy discusses setting up cameras to watch snake dens, as The Chrises encourage her to capture the Jersey Devil. With still so much more to learn about public land management, Joy suggests some low cost ways to upgrade urban planning— including permeable sidewalk pavers to replenish its natural aqueducts with rain water. Joy addresses listener questions about the waste produced from plastic vs. reusable water bottles, and how the @Guppyfriend prevents microplastic pollution that results from laundering synthetic garments. The Eco-Inspiration To All talks about the upcoming Marketplace Of The Future, an innovative, interactive, and Zelda-esque World Fair of Tomorrow. Last but not least, Joy encourages everyone to do tiny, little things to make big changes such as buying reusable and compostable products from @PackageFreeShop, and repurposing grocery vegetable bags to cover and store food.

S02E26: Gettin’ Clean with the Founder and CEO of Molly’s Suds, Monica Leonard

August 24, 2020 Chris 1:01:05

The Chrises venture out to the Sunshine State smelling fabulous, without an overpowering odor, to get all-natural clean with Molly’s Suds Founder and CEO, Monica Leonard. After selecting every Molly’s Suds employee as her favorite, Monica activates her current product preferences, the twin powers—super powder laundry detergent and stain spray. The entire sustainable product lineup is without petrochemicals, solvents, dyes, and pesticides; making them always safe for people and the planet. With thorough research and comprehensive, green ingredient labels, Molly’s Suds truly takes the guess work out of purchasing harmless, yet effective, clean solutions. Monica also dishes with The Chrises on Molly’s Suds sustainable packaging and local environmental initiative— her brick-and-mortar store, The Refillery in Saint Petersburg, Florida. After teaching the community about waste, The Clean Queen hints at an upcoming product (hint: it may or may not be soap) and leaves little footprints on The Chrises hearts.

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